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Oh, take me out to Thornbury,
We'll take our time, no need to hurry
Don't drive too fast if there are flurries,
We can stop and get some curry,
There's lots of restaurants in Thornbury.
Oh, take me out to Feversham,
Then I'll know exactly where I am
I could maybe have some toast and jam
Go cow tipping at 3 am
If I find myself in Feversham
Oh, take me out to Proton Station,
Maybe join a congregation
In a fit of fascination,
But if it ends in frustration
I'll get out of Proton Station
Oh, take me out to Dornoch,
They've got lots of ice cream in stock
In their big ol' general store
But there's really not much more
In the little town of Dornoch
Oh, take me out to Clarksburg,
Nothing really rhymes with Clarksburg
We'll sing about it anyway
'Cause we figured what the hey
Da da da da da da da durg
Oh, take me out to Irish Lake
Where there's no Irish, it's all fake
But it's a common mistake
That people often make
When they go to Irish Lake
Oh, take me out to Six Corners
No one counts them but the foreigners
Long as we've all been alive
We've only ever counted five
In the deceptively named Six Corners
Oh, take me out to Markdale
Maybe we could have a yard sale
Sell some books and old straw bales
And we surely will not fail
To raise funds for the hospital
Oh, take me out to Cheeseville
If I don't go there, someone else will
Though there's only two houses
Just two people and their spouses
All the way out there in Cheeseville
Oh, take me out to Walters Falls
They say there's no escape at all
Might as well go catch some trout
'Cause we'll never get out
Of the town of Walter's Falls
And I'm still in Walter's Falls
There's really no escape at all
I'm still sitting catching trout
'Cause I can't find my way out
Of the town of Walter's Falls
I guess we're stuck in Walter's Falls
There's really no escape at all
Maybe we can sell our trout (Want a trout?)
Buy a helicopter out (Anyone?)
Of the town of Walter's Falls (Little help?)
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